Shules- Shawn's Suicide
by NCIS-Rachel
Summary: SHULES! - Shawn has been asking weird all week, enough to make Juliet suspicious. Her worst thoughts come to life when they find a note from Shawn... but is there something more? Is he still alive?


Shawn arrived for movie night thirty minutes late. As he arrived at Juliet's front door, she flung it open and crossed her arms.

"You're late, Shawn." Juliet announced.

"I, uh, had to take care of some business." Shawn Spencer stuttered.

"What business could have kept you this late?" Juliet continued.

Shawn noticed the TV screen previewing Top Gun. "Can we just watch Top Gun and forget about it?" he kissed her on the lips and walked inside. For a few moments, Juliet just stood there, trying to piece together what was going on. Upon deciding it was no use to fight, she agreed and sat down beside her boyfriend.

Shawn drew Juliet closer on the couch. Her head took its rightful place on his shoulder, and their hands intertwined. Shawn kissed her on her forehead.

"Why do you always put yourself in danger?" Juliet abruptly asked.

Shawn was shocked by the question. "I don't know. I guess it's because I'm not afraid… I'm not afraid to die."

A moment passed before anyone spoke.

"What the hell does that mean?" Juliet stood up. Shawn didn't answer. He kept his eyes on the program, fiddling with his thumbs. "Shawn," she softened her tone, sitting beside him again and placing her palm on his leg, "are you feeling okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?" He looked up at her and smiled. She noticed sadness in his eyes. Then, Shawn's phone rang- A blocked number. He shot up and walked out of the room to answer.

Juliet knew something was up. The past few days, Shawn hadn't been himself. He was down in the dumps. The usual crazy references and childish actions were at a minimum. Most of all, he was distracted. Shawn Spencer was never distracted.

"Jules, I've gotta go." Shawn walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Shawn…" Juliet couldn't think straight. Her boyfriend was in danger, and she was sure of it.

"I love you, Jules." Shawn said, kissing her on the lips and bolting to the door. Juliet was too shocked to respond. He never came out and said it. He always found a way around it.

For some reason, then, Juliet went to the window. Shawn wasn't there. He already left. Fishy.

Realizing there was nothing for her to do unless she had probable cause to investigate, Juliet switched off the TV and headed for bed. In the morning, if she couldn't get a hold of Shawn, she would.

_Ring ring!_

Juliet's phone went off that morning, waking her up. It was early. She expected it to be Shawn, but it wasn't. It was Lassiter. Juliet answered, half asleep.

"You better get down here. There's something you'll want to see. Or not…" Lassie voiced over the phone. His voice was filled with concern. "It's about Spencer." With that, Juliet rushed to get ready and was down at the office in a matter of minutes.

As she walked it, everyone's eyes were on her. She was receiving sympathy looks from everyone. Looking straight ahead, she noticed Shawn's father, who was retired. His face was drained and pale, clearly distraught.

"What's going on?" Juliet asked as she approached. She noticed, then, that Gus was in a ball sobbing. Everyone was upset, and Shawn wasn't there.

Lassiter handed her the letter. It was addressed to no one.

It read:

_I guess my therapist was right- I can't take this anymore. I did break. Maybe the pressure of not being good enough for everyone, or living up to expectations, was too much to handle. Seeing so many people die, and so many people threaten the ones I love, watching and wondering why I can never be good enough to save them… Sure, I could have reached out to Juliet or Gus. However, they have enough problems without my burden. Everyone does. I think it's just time to make it all go away. So I leave you with this, my final goodbye. Don't miss me, though. Maybe I should have never moved back._

_Gus, man, you were the best friend anyone could ask for. Juliet… I'm sorry I couldn't be a little more open or romantic for you. I loved you more than I've ever loved anyone. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. _

_-Shawn_

Halfway through the letter, Juliet, who never cried or was ever scared. Who could face death without any fear, broke out in tears. Shawn Spencer was dead… and he committed suicide.

Juliet placed her hand on her face to hide her expression from the others. She couldn't believe she was crying. In an attempt to hide her shame, she speed-walked to her desk and engulfed her face in her hands. Her mind raced through memories of her and Shawn over the years.

"O'Hara? You should go home." Chief suggested. She placed a hand on Juliet's shoulder. The fragile girl took no question to the idea and made her way out the door.

About half an hour after she returned home, and went through all of the photos Shawn and her had taken, she received a call… a blocked number. Juliet blew her nose as she answered.

"Hello…?"

"Jules, It's-"

"Shawn! Oh my god you're alive. What the hell is going on?"

"I see you got the note. I'm fine right now. But baby, I really am in danger. If you guys don't find me soon…"

"Someone else wrote it? God I've been so worried. Everyone has."

"I don't have much time, but I did write the note. I put a hint in it, somehow I got it past him, but his name is-"

There was a sound of a door unlocking on Shawn's end of the call.

"Shawn? Shawn! Who's there?" Juliet demanded.

"Jules, I love you."

"Shawn… I… I love you too, Shawn."

….

"Hey, Doc." Shawn greeted a third party. Then, the line went dead.

Frantic, Juliet dialed her partner.

"Lassiter."

"Shawn's alive." Juliet wasted no time.

"Okay, look O'Hara, you've just been through a lot. I know you might find it hard to believe he's gone, but-"

"He just called me. He's in danger, Carlton. I'm coming in."

"I don't think that's-"

Lassiter was cut off when Juliet hung up.

"O'Hara what the hell are you doing here? I told you to go home." Chief noticed her appearance as she plopped down at her desk and began typing.

"Shawn's alive." Was all she said. Chief grew a look of sympathy on her face again.

"O'Hara, I-"

"Shawn doesn't have a therapist." Juliet looked up at her boss.

Chief paused. "What?"

"In the note, he mentioned having a therapist. He doesn't have one."

"Are you sure? Maybe he didn't tell you."

Juliet turned her computer around as Lassiter and Gus walked over.

"One of the suspects on our case is a doctor-A therapist. Shawn said he gave me a clue in the letter. That's it. He's been abducted by this guy.

"You're sure?" Lassiter asked.

"Only 200%." She glanced at Gus. "I tracked his phone. It's the one Shawn called me from today. That's how I know he's alive."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Henry exclaimed.

"I told you not to contact anyone, Spencer. You blew your suicide cover. I guess now I'm going to have to kill you for real."

"Go ahead, Charles. Go ahead." Shawn threw his hands up in the air.

"Get in the closet. I'll deal with you later. Now, I've got to find Juliet. I know you called her."

That struck Shawn hard. Mess with him all you want, but screw with his girlfriend and you're dead meat. At this point, though, he could do nothing in Juliet's defense. All he could hope for was for her to arrive before it was too late.

"On second thought… I think I'll kill you before she gets here. That way, you two can't say your goodbyes in person." Charles housed a sinister smile on his face as he pointed his gun at Shawn's head.

Shawn gulped and closed his eyes, bracing himself. In his head, memories of Juliet and him raced.

"Not so fast." Lassiter's voice rippled through the darkness.

Out of nowhere, a gunshot broke out.

"Shawn!" Juliet dropped her gun and dashed towards him, bending down on her knees and wrapping her arms around him.

"Jules… I knew you'd find me." He buried his head into her neck and squeezed her waist as tight as he could.

They stood there, embracing each other for what seemed like forever, until Shawn broke away. He cupped her face in his hands. The two of them stared into each other's eyes. All of a sudden, Shawn kissed Juliet with so much passion and strength, that they fell on the ground. The kiss reflected the one the shared in Canada.

"I'm so glad you're okay." Juliet breathed.

"I'm so glad I have you." Shawn whispered.

"And just for the record, you're good enough for me. I don't care how romantic things are or aren't between us, because I've got you, and that's all that matters." Juliet broke.

Shawn smiled. "Good. That part was true." He said as he kissed her one last time before being escorted to the ambulance to be checked out by Woody, of course holding her hand on the way out.


End file.
